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Bonfire Night


Bonfire Night in my opinion is pretty awesome – in theory.

I look forward to it every year expecting sparklers and pretty fireworks and candyfloss and all that. I expect it to be all romantic and colourful and nostalgic and cosy. This is not how it is.

First, you have to actually get there.

We go to this place called Heaton Park which is quite a big place, so you can expect a lot of people to go, and the main method of travel to get there is via The Metrolink (the met). As you can probably imagine, said met is usually ridiculously crammed. I don’t have any issues with having to stand up on the journey, but the fact that there are so many people so close to you is just disconcerting (particularly since not only do crowds make me anxious, but I hate people and everyone’s really noisy and just being a dick which isn’t cool).

Upon arrival, one usually discovers how cold it is and how shit the weather generally is, i.e windy or slightly spitting or whatever.  The park is also basically a big mud pool, which is kinda fun, but also annoying.

We never actually have sparklers, which is a shame. Maybe I’ll buy some for this year with my non-existent money… don8?

The fireworks themselves are usually nice and pretty, but the display is never as long as one would like. Also, I hate loud noises so that kinda ruins it for me a lot. Bearing this in mind, I should probably expect that the night won’t exactly be spectacular.

The atmosphere is actually quite romantic – being huddled together in the cold dark surrounded by all these flashing lights and explosions of colour – until a parade of screaming kids and loud teenagers ruin it by being in your vicinity. They also have a habit of standing too close to you when there’s a lot of other spaces and you came early to get a good spot, which is annoying.

The candyfloss comes in really small bags and costs far too much which is always a disappointment, but the hotdogs are really good and pretty cheap, so I guess that balances things out (I think sometimes they still sell toffee apples which is pretty awesome).

The bonfire itself is always impressive but it’s near impossible to get to a distance where you’re not too hot or too cold and can actually see it.

To conclude, Bonfire Night is much better in theory than in practice; however, I still wouldn’t miss it for the world.


From → Personal

  1. I love your conclusion. It reminds me of the famous Woody Allen line, “The food here is horrible — and such small portions!” Oh, we complex creatures, are we not?

    • I haven’t heard this song, I’ll look it up later tonight probably. I trust your taste in music ahah :> Indeed we are!

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