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Mattress Memories


In an earlier post, I discussed the fact that I am a hoarder and I feel that anything I have owned has a part of myself within it and is precious to me. This is true of many things: toys, furniture, clothes, presents, pieces of paper, brushes, boxes, books and so much more.

That picture took me so long ahah, what a pain. Drawing all the letters can be tediously time consuming. In any case, sorry for how emo that sounds, but it’s kind of true on a metaphorical level: if you pour so much of yourself into your surroundings, what happens when you have given everything away and there is nothing left of you? What happens when you give yourself fully to people who won’t give themselves to you? If you throw your entire being into something and nothing comes out of it, what then? Reflect, rebuild.

It’s been a while since we replaced our old mattress, but I still think about it a lot. We had to get rid of it because we were finally having a double bed put in. We used to share a single mattress with a single duvet. I don’t know how we did it.

When the time arrived to remove it, I felt such sadness. There were so many memories on that mattress, so many pieces of ourselves.

Actually, the mattress hasn’t  been thrown away yet; it’s going to be used for one of Luke’s younger siblings when they grow into it. It sounds bizarre, but I don’t like the thought of someone else using it: some other person making their own memories on our mattress. It sounds awfully selfish, and I guess it is, but I also feel that it’s natural to feel protective over something that is yours and is yourself.

I guess that handing something so special down to another who will love it themselves and make their own memories with it is something beautiful.

Our replacement mattress and bed (the bed wasn’t really a replacement as we just slept on the mattress on the floor, I wish we were still doing that; it was much more fun) was second hand. It’s fun to think of what memories and secrets it has within it (although there are certain things that I’d rather not think about that will have probably occurred on this bed…).

It’s sad that people get rid of things that they once loved because they’re broken and therefore deemed useless to them. I don’t think that I’ll ever throw anything away, if I can help it. When I’m older, my home will be an Aladdin’s Cave of Wonders, with mattresses and broken treasures as far as the eye can see.



From → Personal

  1. I’m kinda the opposite of you in this area. Aside from special gifts and my art I don’t mind getting rid of clutter and things that I don’t use anymore.
    But my wife is quite a bit like you in the way that everything that we own or have owned is very precious and it takes a lot to make her part with it.
    Maybe it’s more of a girl thing…?

  2. Agreed. It’s like every little thing I’ve ever had is a horcurx.

  3. This is so good, I love how the drawings soften and stretch your emo truths:). Maybe some spirits do require additional storage in the outside world. The mattress with the puzzle pieces kills me. So sweet. We keep ours on the floor too.

  4. I feel you. Recently I moved and it was pointed out to me that I had way too much stuff. It was hard, but I managed to part with six boxes of crap. It’s scary to let go, but like you said, it’s a small comfort to know someone else will use said stuff that you no longer use.

  5. I guess I’m kind of the same. I have a lot of junk in my room, and I do have lots of memories attached to them, but I wish that I didn’t, it all feels so restricting. I never use any of the stuff, and I feel guilty for having so many things that I don’t use anymore. D:

    • Why feel guilty for it, it’s wonderful 😀 at least all the crap in your room is REALLY cool though, like that awesome chest. I wish I had a chest like yours~ Having said that, I guess it would be nice to get rid of some stuff and clear some air. Like when we tidied our room after like half a year, it felt refreshing to have room to breathe.

      • That awesome chest has finally come in handy; I’m hiding Christmas presents in it!

      • Ah! That is indeed handy 😀 What will you do with it afterwards? You could put all your most treasured possessions in it and then it could be a real treasure chest; you could make a fire box with it, so that if your home (God forbid) ever sets on fire, all you have to do is grab that and all your most precious things will be OK :D! Having said that, when I tried having a fire box, I discovered that I wanted to have most of my things with me or on display in my room, so there wasn’t really much point…

  6. I spent all of my life collecting, now I am in the process of emptying (long story). So far, I am getting so much more out of letting go.

    • I kind of wish I could let go of things more easily, not just possessions but emotions,things that have happened etc. I guess it must feel like a weight being lifted, right :D?

  7. friendwithbenefits permalink

    I think it’s real that we are what we own. It’s not selfish . It’s only an insinctual, primival behaviour . Nobody can deny it unless giving up an important part of being human.

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